Love my friend @far_from_heaven, making fun of my face. #friends #blonde #girl #faces #funny #facebook

my conversations with my father 

• DAD: just look at this zucchini, it's perfect
• ME: uh-huh
• DAD: i mean, it's tender, perfect size all the way through, it's shiny and a nice color
• DAD: unlike this one, which is firmer because it's thicker
• DAD: this one is just right, bet ya it'll taste fucking awesome
• ME: OH MY GOD.
• DAD: what?
• ME: if i had video taped that and replaced the zucchini with dicks!
• DAD: /laughs and walks away